Mad That Wishing Won't Make Things Happen?

One sick kitten pushed Laurie’s buttons with a vengeance.

The vets bill came to $350 yet Laurie’s kitten still had a closed eye and a poor appetite.

Instead of enjoying the new addition to the family she was playing nursemaid, and ATM machine. She was furious that her kitten chosen with so much anticipated joy was now a sick helpless creature that she was responsible for.

Laurie has to take a back seat

Laurie was mad at the Vet for not being able to cure the kitten right away. She snapped at her neighbor who asked her to let a service engineer into the apartment. She lectured her daughter who asked for money to go on a school field trip. She yelled at her colleague for taking a few extra minutes for lunch.

She resented having to pay for expensive antibiotics that didn’t seem to work. She was frustrated that the kitten wouldn’t eat the expensive food the breeders recommended, and seething with rage that her life was now on hold while all her energies and money went into caring for the kitten.

What got under Laurie’s skin?

Laurie wanted something to make her happy. A cute affectionate kitten was just the job. It doesn’t need bathing, grooming or walking! Laurie didn’t want to have to work - she wanted instant reliable love in return for food, milk and treats.

When good things turned into work it was no longer fun. It became unfair, a burden and the total opposite of her fantasy image. That’s what got Laurie so enraged making her lose all reason which made life worse for herself. She felt punished when her wish didn’t work out exactly as planned. She then took it out on everyone in sight and ended up feeling exhausted, defeated and cynical.

Laurie’s Pathway to getting her wish

Laurie was in love with her fantasy and thought that getting a kitten would make the rest happen by magic. If she had created the foundation for the fantasy to become real, she wouldn’t have had such a rude awakening. Laurie could have done some research on the breed, looked at incidences of illness and disease, average cost of vets bills and taken out insurance to cover it.

Doing all the work before getting the kitten would have saved all the work she had to do after getting it. Preparing herself would have made her less stressed and likely to explode when the first little thing went wrong.

Laurie’s lesson is to appreciate that she has to marry fantasy with reality if the wish is going to have any chance of coming true and being successful. When Laurie can allow herself to let her emotional and logical brains converse, all her wishes can come true, and she will have a lot fewer hot buttons to deal with.

Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.