When the judgemental one calls you judgemental

The Greedy One Calls You Greedy
Ever had the experience of being called greedy by someone who wants the lion's share? How about being called sensitive by a friend who feels so wounded if you say you can't meet them for lunch, that they think you are breaking up? Or maybe you have been told you are judgmental by your sibling or co-worker, both of whom are constantly telling you that you look unbecoming, you are impolite, cold or frivolous? Doesn't it just make you mad?

Passing Judgement Is So Unfair
Why is it that the person who sees you as greedy is in fact a greedy person themselves? How come a person who is ultra sensitive accuses you of being that way? What can make a person who is always passing judgement on you think of you as the judgmental one? Why does it push your buttons so intensly? It seems so unfair, doesn't it?

Experts Pass The Buck
Well, there are a couple of reasons that can help us understand it, so that our buttons don't get pushed so hard.

First, the greedy person is an expert on greed. Any sign of desire on the part of another gets interpreted as greed.

Second, the greedy person hates the thought of being greedy themselves, so they would rather see it in someone else. The other person can be the bad guy, and the greedy person can feel good about him or herself. Same with the sensitive and judgmental ones. They are aces at being sensitive and judgmental, and don't like it. So they place it in you and try to control themselves that way. It makes them feel superior.

Clues To What You Don't Like About Yourself
Your dreams can be very helpful in alerting you to what you don't like about yourself and "give" to someone else.

Fall Out From Disowning Unacceptable Parts of Yourself
These experiences make for tense and frustrating relationships. It is especially damaging for couples in any relationship, be they parent and child, or romantically attached partners. Couples often choose their partners based on being able to give their partner a characteristic that they themselves can't stand to have themselves, or are too afraid to have themselves.


Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.