June was hurt that she hadn't been asked to join the planning committee for her neighborhood watch. She called her friend Monica, the committee chair and broke off their relationship. Taken aback Monica shot back that June was doing her usual dance of running away whenever things didn't go her way. June's hot button burst into flames, " I don't dump people!" she screamed in her defense.
Pretending The Weed Doesn't Exist
June was called out on her tendency to abandon people who don't give her what she believes she is entitled to. Her emphatic denial was a way of covering up the shame and humiliation she felt when she was laid bare. June believed that if she couldn't see it then no one else could either. But she was wrong, and her hot button was ignited.
Weeds Are The Seedbed Of Your Hot Buttons
When you try to cover up, kill, pull out, suffocate, poison or chop up the parts of yourself that you don't like (your weeds), you actually create a spot of fertile ground for the root particles and seeds to flourish. They congregate and thrive as a hot button inside your psyche. When you have a strong reaction to your buttons being pushed, it's because you were forced to see the weeds in your rose garden. Your outrage is a protest against acknowledging that you are by nature made of weeds and exotic orchids.
Why Weeds Take Over Your Psychic Garden
The more aspects of yourself you disown the more they are going to fight for air, light, and space in your psychic garden. They will pop up when you least expect them, as angry outbursts whenever they are triggered by a button pusher. They will overwhelm the beautiful garden you spend so much time grooming, and make you feel exposed and ashamed. Exactly the opposite of what you wanted.
You Can Hide Things From Yourself, But Beware Friends and Family
Like June, you can hide unacceptable parts of yourself with nice perfume, pretty adornments, and masks. But those close to you can see through the disguise. When they speak to those hidden parts of you instead of your false persona, your hot buttons are going to be pushed big time.
Allowing A Few Weeds To Go Through Their Life Cycle
Accepting a weed such as your desire to feel superior (a weed) to exist near your kindness to animals (an orchid) means you can keep your eye on the weed. That puts you in control. Since you are allowing it to take it's natural course, there is no frantic activity underground to make more roots and seedlings ( to fuel the furnace of your hot buttons). As the plant comes to the end of it's natural life, you can collect the seeds before they fall on the ground and give birth to hundreds of new ones. Owning it gives you the power to determine how and when it can come out. Remember, your friends and family already know it's there. They accept you with that imperfection. It's time you did too!
copyright Dr. Jeanette Raymond.
Learn more about using your anger profitably
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